~Replay, Rewind~

One final hug

Somewhere I think I knew

Door closes to goodbye

Just what was I to do

A fleeting moment

I just wanted to pause

Desperately holding on

As nearer the end draws

Replayed again and again

Would I change a word

Talk, cry, learn

Listen until all is heard

Your face, your voice

Memories fill my mind

Longing for the past

Can't we just rewind

Fear of pain

Avoiding an end

Did I do enough

Broken heart to mend

If you had a chance

To say it all

Would you take it

Or put up a wall

I had my chance

Hope it was enough

Begging you to stay

God this is rough

Always my hero

I wish you could stay

But the truth I know

I'll settle for today

~Masquerade~

How can you know me

When the girl in the mirror is a stranger

Ready for the masquerade

You see the fake

She lies

Hiding within her own imperfections

A con-artist at best

Just trying to get by

A smile and a laugh

Real tears come with the setting sun

Perfection is the aim

Longing to be okay

They believe it

Healing comes with time

But time is all but gone

Demons wait to be released

Outside skies are clear and sunny

Inside feels so cold and lonely

Convincingly played

The scheme has worked

Fool the world

Spare the grief

Hide from truth

Lose Her

~Final Thoughts~

I am choking on the smoke

Scrambling for a taste of oxygen

Flames flash terror in my eyes

Trying to see through the darkened wall

In wake of losing myself

I set the world ablaze

Hiding within the smoke

I wanted to push you away

But here I stand, scared and alone

Frantically trying to get to you

What I knew I needed all along

Self-destruction claims again

Trapped with no way out

The smoke draws the final breath of air

A final thought, a final try

Why didn't I let you in?

You were there all along

Fighting the rage, trying to get to me

Bigger flames couldn't keep you out

Battling the firewall with heart and love

Self-sacrificing to fight for me

Through my stubborn ways and will

Now it seems I've gone too far

It's not fair, I know

I'm sorry, I never wanted you to hurt

But selfishly I locked you out

I see it now through thickening debris

Cloudy air offers a settling glimpse

Such love is clear in your eyes

How could I be so blind?

A final thought, a final try

Why didn't I let you in?

~Change~

The same rushing water thunders through the trees

A brilliant orange fills the sky with the tiring sun

A scene so familiar, yet so much has changed

One year ago I sat with a paper and a pen

Writing words of emotions foreign and new

Proclaiming freedom so full of hope

But that was then and I have learned change

Feeling lost in a constantly spinning world

Drowning in an ever-rising ocean

Losing my way, I cannot breathe

How did one year get so far away?

I long for those feelings again

Reading with hope of restoration

But for now I am empty and alone

~Return~

A recurring dream seeping back into mind.

Echoes of what was and hopes of what will.

Somehow I thought you were gone.

A faded memory of heart's first wound,

But that is merely a wish.

Not faded, not gone, but buried.

Hiding away as oceans peel layers back.

Uncovering the depths of the soul.

Breathing air to a dying wish.

Small glimpse of light breaking through,

And I am back to the start.

This time with a broken heart.