~Goodbyes and Unhappy Endings~

Feelings for you were forgotten,

Pushed back into the depths of my soul.

But tonight it all came undone,

When the end of us became real.

I tried to hide the fact that I still cared,

Desperate to convince even myself.

Visions of those memories shared,

Blinded by words of goodbye.

Left standing here all alone again,

I took for granted our rocky past.

A relationship full of heartache and sin;

Not every story has a happy ending.

~Fate~

I guess some would say I'm lucky,

But I don't give credit to luck.

I'm a girl who trusts in fate.

Maybe that's naive,

Blinded by faith in the unknown;

My own faith that is,

But it is not one you would understand.

My religion is my own.

I don't have time for hate,

And judgement is absurd.

I live for today,

And dream of tomorrow.

Worry is tiresome energy wasted,

Carrying fear that will bury the soul.

The past has created me,

And I regret not one thing.

The people I have met along the way,

They have changed me.

The heartache,

Has taught me love,

And the loss,

Has taught me to appreciate.

Every moment,

Every single second in my life,

It all matters.

I don't pretend to know,

Where it all goes from here,

But I do know that I am here now;

Right where I am supposed to be,

And maybe that is enough.

~Oblivion~

What is reality anyway?

Simple, I fear not.

Is it life or love?

Pain or promise...

God?

As sure as the blood flowing through my veins,

I fear I do not know.

Confused by my world,

But lost in my mind.

Questions plead for hope.

Have you heard of Heaven and Hell?

Or is it oblivion that harbors the end?

Where peace is final,

And legacy determined.

Is it cynical to question,

Failing to surrender to a world,

Where society sucks out your soul?

I remember being beaten down,

With recurring vicious strikes.

I cried for you all night.

You never came.

Were you ever there?

How can you be so great,

Yet love so few?

Is it wrong to question all I know?

Abandoned once again,

I am left waiting for oblivion.

Hoping for more,

Unknown until final worlds collide.

But what is reality anyway?

~Greif~

6 Months:

A few months have now gone,

And I still hide from truth.

We talked of you a great deal today,

But it was all in wrong tense.

My brain struggles to comprehend,

A battle of reality and hope.

Sometimes I swear I see you there,

But my brain is an evil prankster.

Everyday I pray for it to be real,

But as days set, hope fades too.

Lost where dreams meet reality,

And my heart aches for you.

Year 1:

I went to see you today,

But I didn't know what to say.

So much has happened,

And many things have changed;

Things you really should know,

But I couldn't tell you there.

Part of me was dying to believe,

Those things you already knew.

Even still I long for the comfort,

Comfort I can't seem to find.

~Battle of a War~

Tonight is a battle,

Fighting memories of you.

Feeling so alone,

Remembering times old and new.

Life is a war,

And casualties we shall face.

But it's only some nights,

I'm haunted by your face.

Yesterday was fine,

and tomorrow will be too.

But that doesn't stop tonight's heartache,

Broken from you.